Okay, you know what it is that we do to ourselves? We set goals for ourselves ahead of time, 'I will not eat that', 'I will eat this many calories', 'I will not ...'.
Goals are good, don't get me wrong!!! But what I've realized is that we focus so much on those goals and then it's all that is on our mind! We are trying so hard to hang onto those goals and make them our reality but really it's not doing anything for us because it is just soooo connected to our EDs so that in some ways, we will never be able to let our EDs go if we hang so tight onto our goals as well. And then, our desire to reach our goals without mistake and not having to go a bit backwards, our minds just get overloaded and just shatters because we cannot take how imperfect our approach at recovery is. You've told me you've failed or feel like a failure because you sometimes can't stick to not going backwards. But really have you failed if you unfortunately fall behind, yet still strive to do better anyways?
Just a thought that zoomed through my head! Tell me how you feel about it!
Yes!
ReplyDeleteOkay, you know what it is that we do to ourselves? We set goals for ourselves ahead of time, 'I will not eat that', 'I will eat this many calories', 'I will not ...'.
Goals are good, don't get me wrong!!! But what I've realized is that we focus so much on those goals and then it's all that is on our mind! We are trying so hard to hang onto those goals and make them our reality but really it's not doing anything for us because it is just soooo connected to our EDs so that in some ways, we will never be able to let our EDs go if we hang so tight onto our goals as well. And then, our desire to reach our goals without mistake and not having to go a bit backwards, our minds just get overloaded and just shatters because we cannot take how imperfect our approach at recovery is. You've told me you've failed or feel like a failure because you sometimes can't stick to not going backwards. But really have you failed if you unfortunately fall behind, yet still strive to do better anyways?
Just a thought that zoomed through my head! Tell me how you feel about it!
Love love love you!