Never Enough

All I ever wanted to be was enough. Enough for him: Enough for me: Enough for everyone who loves me.

I wont ever be thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, or strong enough...in this life I wont let myself ever be good enough.

Whatever

"She falls for the players, but she plays the same games..only better."

So, here's to saying i do not care, I'm sick of games...tag your it, well tag, i quit.

Just the Way it Is

All it ever is, is progress, not perfection.

Seems I'm always trying to reach the finish line before the race even begins.

I must be calm, I must relax, and let nature play its course and direct me where to go. ....

Perfectly- Imperfect: Should Vs Shouldn't Vs Want

Perfectly- Imperfect: Should Vs Shouldn't Vs Want: "Today I was informed that I over-use the word, 'should.' Without even realizing it, I used it twice in one sentence! haha. I feel like I 'sh..."

Should Vs Shouldn't Vs Want

Today I was informed that I over-use the word, "should." Without even realizing it, I used it twice in one sentence! haha. I feel like I "should be a lot of things that I am not, and I feel that I "should" do a lot of things that I do not." I know that I like helping people and I try to be unselfish, but I recently came to the conclusion that there is not many things that I simply do for myself because I want to. I "should" go to  college to get a good job. I "should" do my homework to make me smarter. I "should" eat veggies to make me healthy. I "should" be motivated, independent, and successful. I "should" workout so I can lose weight. I "should" drink eight glasses of water every day...etc. On the contrary, there's things I "shouldn't" do. I "shouldn't" swear,drink, or have sex. I "shouldn't" disobey my parents. I "shouldn't" lie,cheat,or steal. I "shouldn't" text while driving. I "shouldn't" be depressed,obsessed, or nervous...etc. Even though I dont in fact do some of those things I listed, I am generalizing that society and people follow a strict path of should and should not. We all align ourselves with culture and transform into the "norm" of society, My conclusion is this, I need to find a balance between what is perceived as how I should act and what I should do, and how I want to act and what I want to do. Should of, would of could of been born someone else, but hey I am simply me and I like it that way!!! :D

Failure!Failure!Failure!

Somehow I manage to smash every mirror of opportunity in my life. ugh..

Who Needs Logic Anyway??

It's been a while since my last post for two reasons. 1) I've been crazy busy with school, work, and life and 2) Inspiration has been in short supply lately. :/
I wish I could clear my mind and erase all the fog clouding my brain. I've tried to take a step outside my own mind and rationalize all that I'm feeling, but I have found that it's easier to to let emotions run their course and not over-analyze things. I've always listened to my head before my heart, but I am tired of measuring out the consequences and weighing my options. I just want to run with the reckless emotions and kiss goodbye to logic because i feel suffocated by the boundaries I have always set for myself. I want to break down the walls that I built around myself long ago and not worry so much about the future and dwell so much on the past. I only want to live in the present and drink in each day at a time because I don't know if it is my last, but I do know that I want to enter heavens gate knowing I used every last bit of the talents and strengths God gave me...so goodbye yesterday, hello today, and F*** tomorrow.!